the mochaholic

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

IT'S HERE! IT'S FINALLY HERE!!!

The autographed CORRINNE MAY - BEAUTIFUL SEED Album I ordered a week ago finally came!!!

I am now self-declared, Australia's biggest Corrinne May fan!

I insist the shirt i'm wearing is not pink!... it's MAGENTA!

It's even autographed!

What motivates fandomism? I guess I like her because of the way she is, the things she does. The softness of her music, the unique timbre of her voice, the quality in her lyrics - it's so soothing and heartfelt.

And I guess the fact that she's from Singapore too just makes it more identifiabl, for me anyway. I mean, what good is it when individuals in society keep looking to foreign sources for art and entertainment? It's sad if I in Singapore let's say, have to keep looking towards the west to find someone to like. What for? No doubt there is the trendiness and genius in their art, but are they any better than us and are we no worse than them?

Anyway, do check Corrinne May out if you have not heard of her. No, I was not paid to do this, but maybe they should (:

http://www.corrinnemay.com
http://www.myspace.com/corrinnemay

4:31 PM | 0 comments

- the lovers, the dreamers and me -

Tuesday, October 23, 2007
In Christ Alone

I know a lot of us have seen this video, myself included. But everytime I see it, it always serves as a timely reminder of the love of Jesus; I always somehow shed a tear.

Hope you enjoy this one. Have a blessed week.

9:53 PM | 0 comments

- the lovers, the dreamers and me -

Thursday, October 18, 2007
Life's Journey

I thought last night's combined cell was great. The icebreaker was in my opinion, very original and quirky, and I actually did get to know our fellow Agapeans better. Good job, Joni!

Facilitating worship last night was a new encouragement for me, in that I found that even when I felt ill-prepared and nervous, God has divinely appointed me to do that specific task and that He is always ready when i'm not. I guess we can look at that fact in every aspect of our lives, that even when we feel we're not ready or not good enough for a task, it is God who especially chose us for it, and He is always, always ready. Isn't that comforting? Learnt something new...

Apart from that, another new experience for me this week is when Kenny, John Hang and I embarked on our very first discipleship journey on Wednesday! I really thank God for allowing me to fellowship with them as I myself learnt from it and it strengthened my faith. Was rather nervous the night before especially, cos this Bible teaching stuff hasn't really been my strongest points, but nevertheless, like I said, God was ready. And I felt the presence of God was near that afternoon. In my heart I really hope that Kenny and John have benefitted from it, and I really hope that it will have an impact on their lives. The material was not bad, very basic but suitable for brand new believers. I think Kenny looked bored ): So i'm going to pray that the material will not be too easy for him to answer hehe... (all for his benefit of course) (:

This week I learnt that I had to do a supplementary paper for one of my units even though I passed the unit overall, I needed to pass that paper to advance. Was kinda upset at first, but after a while I learned that there's nothing to be ashamed of even when we didn't do as well as we hoped for. In fact it's a second chance to study hard again and get a higher grade and we don't always get that chance. Wow, thank You Lord! Talk about a God of second chances, in even this aspect of life! Guess I still have a lot to learn in humbling myself and take this as a learning experience. God's been good to me, as He'd always been, just that perhaps now my eyes see them.

Life is such a great gift... and our God is an awesome God!

6:59 PM | 0 comments

- the lovers, the dreamers and me -

Saturday, October 13, 2007
enriched

Life seems to go on in phases, seasons at a time.

TO EVERYTHING there is a season, and a time for every matter or purpose under heaven.

A time for birth and a time for death, a time to plant and a time to pluck up what is planted,
A time to kill and a time to heal, a time to break down and a time to build up,
A time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,
A time to cast away stones and a time to gather stones together, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
A time to get and a time to lose, a time to keep and a time to cast away,
A time to rend and a time to sew, a time to keep silence and a time to speak,
A time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.

... He has made everything beautiful in its time... planted eternity in men's hearts and minds... a divinely implanted sense of a purpose.

... I know that whatever God does, it endures forever; nothing can be added to it nor anything taken from it. And God does it so that men will [reverently] fear Him [revere and worship Him, knowing that He is].

-Ecclesiastes 3 (Amplified)

His Word is beautiful, and I am affirmed that He's working in me, changing me to who He wants me to be. What have I leaned? I learned that all that has happened, He has allowed to happen, all part of His divine plan (It's amazing how He's actually got every aspect of my life drafted out), and that I emerge a better man, a stronger man.

Selah

Cell last night was great, as always, but what really stood out was during the Word bit, where we were asked to shoutout reasons for walking closely with God, and scribble them down on a piece of vanguard we had in the middle of the group. It was then that I realised that with the 20 odd or so reasons we stated down, that there's just so many more reasons why we should maintain a close walk with God. I just wonder why I had not known sooner in my rebellious days, or when I had drifted far far away.

But I guess, God has His timing...

6:50 PM | 0 comments

- the lovers, the dreamers and me -

Friday, October 12, 2007

I wouldn't say that this week had been an easy week, what with new units in my new trimester, questions and dilemmas, uncertainties and errand after errand. Time had come and gone, and before you know it you get an email from Huifu about cell, and you realise it's almost the end of the week. Wonder how I made it through.

As some of you may have noticed about me this week, i've been a little withdrawn, just hiding in my room. It's just a phase i'm going through. I also believe that this is a trial I have to get through before God brings me to other places, higher places. I know there are things yet to be resolved, struggles yet to be faced, and I know He's got a plan for me. I just need to stay focused. I AM A CONQUERER, BORN TO OVERCOME!
Thank God for those of you who'd been there for me this week, especially Thad and Adrian. Thanks heaps.

But you know, our God has this uncanny way of doing things, I mean yeah this is the same God that used a big fish to teach Jonah a lesson. But Thank God (excuse the pun) that He spoke to me in the most timely fashion it almost seems like a coincedence, but I know it's not.

Yesterday night while I was doing my QT, I don't know and I can't explain what led me to dig out from my drawer, a copy of The Purpose Driven Life, by Rick Warren, which I haven't touched in ages. And as I flipped it open to the page where the bookmark marked the chapter I last read, the theme of that new chapter just seemed so apt. The chapter mainly used Job as an example, and a line in that chapter read...

"The deepest level of worship is praising God in spite of pain, thanking God during a trial, trusting him when tempted, surrendering while suffering, and loving him when he seems distant."

I love my LORD, and I love Jesus, and I really just want to worship him with all of my life, imperfect yet complete. I'm working towards that.

Today amidst the struggle, as I sat down to eat my bowl of instant kimchi ramen, I just praised God, I thanked God for his blessing, for this ramen, and for what he's done, doing and going to do in my life. I can't wait to get through this, LORD please don't turn away from me. I want to be who You want me to be...

Your Unfailing Love - Hillsongs

When the darkness fills my senses
When my blindness keeps me from Your touch
Jesus come

When my burdens keep me doubting
When my memories take the place of You
Jesus come

And i'll follow You there
To the place where we meet
And i'll lay down my pride
As You search me again

Your unfailing love
Your unfailing love
Your unfailing love, over me again

12:08 AM | 0 comments

- the lovers, the dreamers and me -

Monday, October 08, 2007
who i am

I've been rather emotional these days. There's a lot of things that people see of me, but not that in me. No, i don't have a problem with that, i'm not upset, i'm not even expecting anything out of saying that. I just want to say it, that's all. Now that aside, and moving onto something else not particularly unrelated, I guess some of you know of how my life and walk with God has drastically changed since coming here. Well, it can generally be observed that when one draws nearer to the Father, life doesn't necessarily become easier, and most of the time it becomes quite the opposite.

With new heights i've achieved with God, i'm actually finding my trials, both past and present coming back to haunt me in a different way. Having gone thru physical tangible trials before (eg. financial or physical pain), i'm now finding myself dealing with a whole new set of challenges, trials which are less tangible, struggles which are less visible, those that don't play on body, but those that eat at your heart, your mind, your soul. Intangible, mental, spiritual - it's hard to grasp.

But at this we know that the battle belongs to the LORD, and as much as there is war on earth, so there are wars in the heavenly realms.

My struggles? They're the LORD's. I'm glad the devil has started to take notice; says a lot doesn't it?

I know that this facade that I put on does not always reflect what necessarily is inside, which is why I said it's easier for people to see what's of me and not in me, that underneath this happy facade, is someone often tormented by his own shortcomings, still bothered by his iniquities.

BUT all that is changing, slowly but surely. I feel and I know that God has not given up on me, and that He's rebuilding in me a new spiritual man. I'm kinda inspired by the one in the Bible who they say is a man after God's own heart. I wanna be just like him. I also want to be like John in the Bible, who refers to himself in his book (3:7) as "The disciple whom Jesus loved". Yeah, I wanna be just like him. And I also want to be like David's friend in the Bible called Jonathan, who always stands by his friends, who builds them up in Christ and loves at all times (Prov 17:17). I wanna live up to my name, I wanna be just like him.

LORD I know, with You, I can.

Oh and still being emotional here. In church today we sang the song which goes:

Glory, glory, glory to the Lamb.
Glory, glory, glory to the Lamb.

For He is glorious and worthy to be praised,
the Lamb upon the throne;
and unto Him we lift our voice in praise,
the Lamb upon the throne.

...a song which we used to sing a lot in my church back home. Twas then I was reminded of home. Standing at the back of the sanctuary alone, I looked around and saw parents with children, brother with sister, aunties, uncles, cousins - families worshipping God together. I closed my eyes and dreamt I was singing this song in CBC in the presence of family and friends whom I miss, and tears welled up in my eyes. Then the Holy Spirit opened my eyes again, and He pointed out the people around me, my friends in Perth. And He said to me, that this is your spiritual family.

That's why to these people, I want to be a David, a John, a Jonathan; the man whom God wants me to be.

12:58 AM | 0 comments

- the lovers, the dreamers and me -

Saturday, October 06, 2007
Found

goodness, i can't recall the last time i blogged. But i dunno, perhaps there are just things on my mind that i need to let out. I been thinking a lot these days, a lot of which involves my spiritual walk with Him, and just things happening around me, the things we do, the people we meet who make an impact on our lives.

Well first of all, each time i do think about it, i just can't help but pick up the guitar and sing a song of praise to Him, for bringing me to Perth and FGA especially. I guess FGA will always have a special place in my heart, cos that was where i first met Him. Strange, cos i'd been born into a believing family, but that i only met him just then. That was way back when i was in high school, back in 2001.

Now at the beginning of this year, i had the privilege to go to Australia again to further my studies, and i could've gone to Melbourne or Canberra, but i chose Perth. Back then i didn't know why, but now i do. And these are marked by milestones, namely:

1) Meeting a special bunch of people (u know who u are) in church whom i regularly hang out with. U guys are like noone i have ever met before, and you make someone ordinary like me feel extra special, like i belong. Perhaps it's something i'd been longing for before, and it's like i finally got it. I thank God for u guys every night in my prayers.

2) Agape camp was amazing! I mean, if there was a reason to come to Perth, it would be because of this camp. Wow, the experience was just unimaginable (and unexpected), and so powerful. It's like a body trapped in the dead, set free, revived, and now kicking. It's amazing how the HS moves.

3) 16 September is a date i will always remember. It's the day i finally received the gift of tongues in church. It is a big thing, for me anyways, something i'd been praying for, for YEARS literally. I guess you could say it's a milestone for me, yet it isn't, as in, it's not a sign or symbol to say "I have arrived with God", but i guess He has His timing, and this is just one of those times. For me, i feel like a child who's been wanting something from his Dad for so long, and finally receiving it unexpectedly one fine day. The feeling is great, i tell u.

Well, what now from here? Couple of weeks ago i'd been posed the question of where i see myself in ministry in the next few years. And at first i thought, "that's an easy question to answer", having served before in the worship ministry back home. But as time went on, and after praying and seeking His peace, i now find myself in the middle of nowhere. I'd been involved with the Hospitality team, welcome, food, i'd helped out with decor, and of course i'd helped out with the worship team; i've been places, but i haven't quite found myself just yet. But i know i will. soon. Lord speak to me.

I picked up the guitar just then, and i sang this song...

King of Kings, Majesty
A/C# D E A
God of Heaven, living in me
E A E A
Gentle Saviour, closest friend
A/C# D E A
Strong Deliverer, beginning and end
A/C# D E F#m E/G#
All within me falls at your throne

Chorus:
A E/G# F#m A/E
Your majesty, I can but bow
D A/C# Bm7 D/E
I lay my all, before you now
A E/G# F#m A/E
In royal robes, I don't deserve
D A/E D/E A
I live to serve Your ma - jes - ty

Verse 2:
Earth and heaven, worship you
Love eternal, faithful and true
Who bought the nations, ransomed souls
brought this sinner near to Your throne
All within me cries out in praise

...and then it reminds me yet again, that serving God in His ministry, is a privilege, a call to serve on top of your higher call, as a student.

I only hope that i will stay focused on this cause, and find myself in Him.

"And I found myself, in You... Jesus"

12:02 PM | 0 comments

- the lovers, the dreamers and me -