Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Jesus keeps me going
My life is very routine. Monday to Friday, i wake up at 6am, switch on the water heater, go back to sleep, get up at 0630am, shower clean up etc, then leave for camp at 7am.
At camp, do work and all that crappy stuff, tok c**k a while, then go for lunch at around noon, before heading back to office to slack and do a little more work. I get to play badminton on the occasional Monday, Wednesday and go for a run on Friday, if i don't have a lot of work. Other than that, it's just getting cooped up in the camp's smallest unit, and perhaps one of SAF's smallest units? My office makes me feel claustrophobic sometimes... but oh well...
Jesus keeps me going.
Anyway, here's a song for your encouragement...
"Closer to You"
Closer to You
My heart is still
Longing for Your touch in my life
Closer to You
My life made new
More than I could ever imagine
Living Savior
Glorious Father
Loyal Friend
and Hope to all the world
Jesus, I love You
I'll never be the same
You sought me
You found me
I'll never be the same
Cos nothing can ever
take You away
Here in my heart is where
You're gonna stay
Your glory of grace
and Your message of truth
I'll pray
Have a great week ahead guys! (and gals) too! God bless you all heaps!!!
11:33 PM |
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- the lovers, the dreamers and me -
heh.
Deleted my previous post, cos i might get sued for defamation charges. Bah, it's not as if my blog is so influential rite? But anyway...
The past week had been good. I played badminton 4 out of 5 working days, and i'm really glad i did. Badminton's such a fun sport. It challenges one of his physical tolerence, stamina, and also the mind, as it involves a lot of understanding the opponent and predicting where he will strike. Wonder who invented the game...
Took morning off from camp today, hence i'm sitting at home typing this. Was just much too tired yesterday and the day before, and this short break is just what i needed. You know what they say about the army, it can cause a lot of stress. Yes, that's true for me, even though i'm an ASA (Admin Supporting Assistant) - just a nicer way of saying CLERK. See, my work involves a lot of thinking and mental strength, and really, it is tiring sometimes. Some people just don't see it, or don't understand, but the whole environment just doesn't motivate. Hmmm, maybe i should think about how i can improve the current environment so that it is more work conducive? I dunno, it's the little things that make things happen so...
Anyway, you guys like my new layout?? I drew it myself! *beams like a waxed apple*
Yup, i dunno, it's like kinda dreamy yet really sketchy? I think it represents somewhat how my life is like, where in my heart lies a lot of dreams for the future, but to get there, it's sketches all the way, trial and error, make mistakes, learn from them. Yeah, think this layout will stay for quite some time... unless of course i get sick of it all of a sudden and... uhh nevermind...
peace.
10:38 AM |
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- the lovers, the dreamers and me -
Sunday, August 21, 2005
Stay True to the Faith
Yesterday's worship rehearsal went okay, but still i had no doubt that God was in control. I've learnt a lot these past few weeks. But the phrase, "Let go, and let God", though been around many months now, only started to have meaning to me.
I do have to admit, and publicly too, that the time of the AIR (Rally) had been a rough time for me. I had a lot of army commitments, study commitments, and on top of that, i had driving lessons couple times a week plus other additional church commitments to handle. And i'm just one man too. But now i really understand what distress means. It had been a traumatic experience, not just for me, but for others whom i'm working with too. See, i had been harsh with them, and my ugly side really showed. And i know it's not supposed to be that way. See, i wish i understood how to "Let go, and let God", so that i would not have depended on my own minute human abilities instead. However, all is not lost. There are a few changes that i have to make in my life, drastic as it may be.
As some of you know already, i'm having lessons on Sunday mornings, thus i won't be able to attend church for the next few months. Some of you asked me, as to why i could place this before church. But ask yourself, what is the church? The church is not God. God is not the church. God is Emmanuel, which means that God is with us, wherever we may be. And that is what has been keeping me going on. I can meet God wherever i am. I don't have to be in church to worship God. I worship day and night, 24/7 with the things that i do. (i'm workin on it). But that doesn't give anyone the excuse not to go to church.
Church is not just a place for meeting God, it's for fellowship with other believers, for edifying and building up one another, and for learning and refreshing what we know about God, and making new commitments for our lives. Church is important. But one can attend church and claim revival, and on Monday, forget where he placed his Bible. It's not so much the act of stepping into the church and showing your face, but more of that goes through your heart and mind. It's really more than that.
As for my readers, if you are a believer, i ask for your continual support and prayer, as i run the narrow path in this race, that i will not lose faith and fall.
And as for those who do not yet know what being a Christian is like, ask me, and i'll be glad to tell you.
Anyway, continuing about my day, i just wanna say that i'm so glad to be able to attend church this week. Michelle, Dwong and i led worship in YF, and our vocalists and musicians played extremely well. I felt that it was passionate and Spirit led, and i myself was touched by the words of the songs we sang. Call it a spiritual high, but i know in my heart that i've always wanted to be a history maker :) but i'm still working on it. I don't think i've made much of a difference in this life to be recorded in any history books, but i will still try.
"stay true to the faith!"
8:40 PM |
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- the lovers, the dreamers and me -
Saturday, August 20, 2005
Taser Gun
On Saturday my camp had an openhouse in commemoration of our 40th Anniversary. I must admit that even though i've only been around about 8 months, i feel part of the "family" and am very proud of my camp, as it's got a very rich historical background dating all the way back to the days when we were just known as the Singapore Volunteer Corps. But look at us today, island defence at its best.
Anyway, my unit's booth was displaying the Taser gun. It's a stun gun, the same one they newly introduced in the Police force not long ago. This gun is about the same weight as my handphone and the size of my palm, but the amazing thing about this humble device is that even though it runs on rechargable batteries similar to AA batteries, it's 50 000 volts and current of 0.04 is enough to stun an entire bull! There were videos as proof, and i had no reason to doubt it. I experienced it myself.
Yup, we were letting people get stunned. Of course, they had to volunteer themselves, but most of them took it as a challenge anyway. About a hundred people tried it that day, and as for me, i did the full-body stun. They attached a cord on a piece of clothing on my right shoulder and left ankle, meaning that the electrical current will pass through that direction, thus causing the full-body effect. The experience was unbelievable! It's so hard to describe. It's similar to getting an electric shock, but it doesn't inflict any pain at all. My whole body muscles tensed up, and i felt my heart jolt. It was like a very rude and rough shock - literally! No, i won't do it again, but i don't regret this experience.
<
>
8:29 PM |
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- the lovers, the dreamers and me -
Friday, August 19, 2005
Weird SMS
Well, today's been a pretty good day, considering a didn't have to go to camp due to a medical appointment that would take up pretty much til late afternoon, which it did.
Anywho, got this weird sms today from this unknown fella. Didn't have his (or her) number on my phone so the sms just displayed the number with this message...
"Remember to put my key under my pillow"
...to which i replied...
"Sorry, but whose number is this?"
...to which this mysterious person replied...
"monkey lee"
...to which i replied...
"Did u have the wrong number? I don't know any monkey lee"
and to which this person never replied again.
Weird i say! Leave your key under your pillow? What, do you sleep together or something? Can't you at least leave it in your shoe or under a flower pot?? Man...
And who would call themself "Monkey Lee"?? I presume your surname is Lee, and you look like a monkey?
"bizarre"
5:33 PM |
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- the lovers, the dreamers and me -
Thursday, August 18, 2005
Mushroom Swiss Whopper
Blogger's dumb. I tried to post up something yesterday but it just wouldn't behave. Killed my mood.
But anyway, i handed up 2 essays yesterday and I suddenly feel so refreshed. But the studying's not over yet. However, i'm glad that i can get to go to church this sunday cos there won't be any classes on weeks that assignments are due. Michelle and I will be leading, and no, i won't let you buggers know what songs we'll be singing. It's a surprise! :)
So yup.
I ate 2 BK burgers yesterday for dinner. I must have been crazy or something, but their burgers were just too good to resist. I exceptionally like the new Mushroom Swiss Whopper very much. It's not as beefy as its non-whopper counterpart, and it just tastes so good. Not to mention its sheer size! Man, it's just like in the pictures, those huge buns! And ahem, the melty oozy mushroom and swiss cheese, it's like eating a xiao long bao where each bite is full of juice and flavor.
Not a neat snack. Expect to get your hands and face dirty.
I rate BK's Mushroom Swiss Whopper 4 out of 5 bites (chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp) and will recommend it to my friends and family. (!)
They also have it with the Chicken Whopper as well if you prefer that over beef. I have yet to try it, but i'm sure it would be as good as its beef counterpart.
Nuff about food, i just want to say that i really miss God. I've been so far away and distant lately, but i'm just glad that He has not forgotten me and that the door to him is always open. As for me, yeah i have backslided some, but i think i'm slowly getting back on track.
Brothers and sisters pray for me k?
12:36 PM |
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- the lovers, the dreamers and me -
Monday, August 15, 2005
Anticipate my arrival
I learned one thing today - Never wear orange to camp. I wore an orange tee today and cos i took half day off, i felt so bright and eye-catching when i was leaving. The color just mismatched the whole army theme, so yeah, i will avoid wearing orange to camp. Yellow isn't any better, but thankfully red and a few other bright colors are still wearable in camp without looking out of place.
Oh. Gluttony. I had 5 scoops of ice-cream today. One in the afternoon just before lunch. I went to this homemade ice-cream store at Sunset Way Arcade called the Daily Scoop and had a Rum & Raisin ice-cream on a cone. It was delightful under the blazing sun, but it wasn't as tasty as the R&R from Sweet Stix. Anyway, spent most of my boring afternoon chatting and catching up with some friends i haven't spoken to in a while.
Went for dinner with family to our favourite Ivins restaurant, where i had another 3 scoops of ice-cream (Banana split). It was good, but i was freezing in the air-con restaurant after that. That's four scoops so far.
Headed to good ol Ngee Ann library after dinner to study. Spent a good 2 hrs mugging my Communications reader. Decided to take a break from Sociology today. Library closed at 2100 hrs so i headed home and had more ice-cream! Had a green tea macha ice-cream from Sweet Stix, which in my opinion, makes one of the best macha ice-cream in the world! Well, Singapore at least.
So here i am, blogging. I don't blog as often nowadays as i'm so caught up with a whole lot of other commitments, like studies (especially) and camp and driving lessons and all. I've already downed a lot of my church activities to close to zilch, cos i just can't handle it. It's really just too much to take for me. But no, i won't give up on God. The Vine and the branches must stay connected. God is my lifeline. I can't live without Him. Well, i'm glad to say that i am on my way back to Him after backsliding some. I had a good chat with 3 friends few nights ago, Felicia in M'sia, good ol June in Perth and my sec school friend Matthew, and they all encouraged me so much with my problems and especially my being strayed from God. I do miss them a lot, and i'm really grateful to them, and evermore thankful that God had always been there when i needed Him, even when i couldn't tell.
Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus...
Oh, and not to brag, but my officer is really happy with my "Suspicious characters" posters, and he may want to get it approved for circulation in other army camps. As Willy Wonka would say, "WoW", i'm really awed and excited if my efforts really do go to other camps. It's great to see my work appreciated and used for a cause. Madness!
Anyway...
Going to do my QT now, just before retiring to bed. I better rest early tonite for another long day in camp tmr. Things have been getting a little better here and there. I really hope and trust that God knows what i'm going thru in my life, and i look forward to the time when i am back on my feet again, stronger and better.
Anticipate my arrival...
10:01 PM |
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- the lovers, the dreamers and me -
Sunday, August 14, 2005
Today
Class ended early today so i rushed to church after that. We had youth sunday today. I managed to catch the last few minutes of ukc's message, plus sing the closing song, 'Power of Your Love'. It's a beautiful song, a declaration that we are weak and He is strong, and that God's love is the key to overcoming anything. That song was really relevant for me as well, considering my current situation.
Well, it's been 4 weeks away from church now since the new semester of uni started. It's pretty stressful juggling camp with studies and driving. Last wednesday i drove in my new instructor's Mitsubishi Lancer. It was much much smoother and easier to drive than BB's Honda City.
Anyway, had a heritage run last saturday, except i didn't run, or rather, wasn't allowed to run. It's sad that with my heart condition, the army wouldn't want to take that risk and let me run. I guess it'll be a lot of unwanted media attention if i died while running huh? But they don't know i've been running. And each run makes me stronger. But it comes with a risk. Am i being foolish?
After church today, quite a number of us hung out at potong McD, followed by a quickie at the tau huay stall. Headed to Dwong's ctry club and studied quite some. Was quite happy that what i studied managed to sink in, mostly anyway. Had 2 games of bowling after that. It was fun, despite losing some of my skill from many years ago. Guess i am kinda rusty now.
Anyway, been thinking a lot. So many things on my mind; Worship Comm, studies, driving, girlfriend, army stuff. It's a lot to handle ya know? Funny how i'm going thru so much stress but nobody seems to notice. They don't know what motivates me or what rips my heart out.
But i guess only God knows. And He's my only way out now.
10:14 PM |
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- the lovers, the dreamers and me -
Saturday, August 06, 2005
I'll be back
Had great fun at Holland V yesterday with a reunion of some of my army office fellas who've ORDed. Chow treated us all at Holland V's new Crystal Jade La Mian Xiao Long Bao restaurant, which in my opinion, is simply superb. The food is simply fantastic, so rich in flavour and very delicious. Enjoyed myself entirely that night. I hope that one day i will be able to treat my friends to a meal like that too. I ain't rich, but someday i will.
What can i say bout the rest of the day before that? Boring, the usual. Nothing special. Stupid officer sent us to do some assignment close to closing time and while we were doing it, he left. Isn't that just great? And yeah, he's just an abuser of power. He rushes you to do work and says he wants to see it, and then he leaves. Typical.
That's about all.
Sad news. I've backslided. Pray for me okay guys? I need a lot of encouragement to pick myself up again. New term of uni has started again, and working and studying ain't easy. Plus i've reached stage 2 of my driving lessons and i'm learning new stuffs. Nearly knocked a pedestrian last monday, but luckily i stalled the car. And that idiot M.S. WANG, an instructor at the driving school, deserves to be shot. The bugger is impatient and a lousy coach. I shall make sure i never get him again.
Going for FOP this afternoon. U know what? Thank God for songs. Because even though i've backslided quite some, it's the songs, the Hillsongs and all the rest that i play that keeps me somewhat from forgetting my very purpose. I will be back. I will be back.
11:04 AM |
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- the lovers, the dreamers and me -
Thursday, August 04, 2005
TODAY SUCKS
Today stinks. Princess stinks. The whole world stinks.
Was ready to leave the house today and the bad mood of everyone else just made me in a bad mood too, even though it totally had nothing to do with me. I don't even know why i became so moody. I feel bad, giving people the cold shoulder and talking in a very disrespectful and irritated manner. I realised when i do that, i'm not better than princess, who according to my encik, is very demanding at home.
And speaking of princess, i have a lot to say about the bugger. That bugger is one useless piece of trash. If he were paper, i would've either crushed him and thrown him into the wastepaper basket, or burned him with a candle, or maybe drop him in my office shredder. Do i hate him? I won't lie. I admit it. I do. Is it easy to love the unlovable? The bugger only cares for himself. He can't stand seeing others not doing work if he is. One example, we were clearing the conference room after a meeting, and guess what? We set him to wash the cups. Why? Because he's never done it before, of all the dozen times gonzo and i did it. So it's only fair that he does it. And besides, it wasn't as if we weren't doing work - we were. Only that he couldn't see it. So he (as usual) did a half-hearted job. All he did was splash water on the cups and left them in a mess on the shelf.
Today i had to grab a few cups for another conference, and guess what? They were still coffee-stained and sticky. What a disgrace to our office.
And tell me, who can go around in a jolly mood after being screwed by your officer?! Princess can.
tbc...
11:54 AM |
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- the lovers, the dreamers and me -
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
Interesting Day
Today's an interesting day. Okay, i got to camp and found out that one of the warrant officers from our close office got a heart attack and was hospitalised. Glad that he's out of the danger zone. Honestly, he asked for it. He reeks of cigarette smoke so strong you can smell him a mile away.
Anyway, today is a day full of mixed feelings. I felt stressed, angry, happy, joyous - all of them. Well, as usual, i can't be happy with princess. Today he is the duty clerk and he happily strolled in at 8am. How convenient. And the usual lazy nothings that he does in the office, the constant surfing on the internet for his own interests, and of course his beauty sleep. I don't know why, but i just get so angry when i see his face. How do you love the unlovable? It's so difficult.
Today was also our unit cohesion dayout, but as you know, my unit strength is but four, so we combined with office 2, and we went to Chevrons and played bowling! Man! I haven't touched one of them balls in years!! The last time i bowled was in sec 2 with mervin and co? I used to be pretty okay then. Anyway, tossing the ball felt weird at first. I played with one warrant officer and one captain, they were very nice fellas. My score in the first round was 77. I must have lost concentration in round 2, cos my score was only 73. Was rather disappointed, but i played on. The WO and Cpt gave me good tips on how to shoot the ball and all, and i scored 112 in round 3! Not a bad score, and it was higher than the WO, so yay to me. The rest made a wager between me and my friend, so the one with the lower score would have to treat the other. Well, the poor guy was a beginner so he had to buy me an ice milo, a whooping 2 bucks! At least he was sincere. Good friend la...
Yup, went straight to BBDC for my Final Theory Test (FTT) after Chevrons and i passed. Whew! I only studied a few minutes in the afternoon and that was all it took. But if you are taking a test of the same nature i wouldn't recommend chionging like this. It all depended on a bit of "luck", though i don't believe in luck. I guess if you were meant to pass, you just will. Thank God almighty for that! Went to Westmall after that, had a delectible Mushroom Swiss Whopper meal. It was gorgeous, not to mention quite big! It came out the size nearly comparable to the picture menu proportion. Amazing. A hearty meal it was. And then i took bus 61 home.
Route 61 will go pass Ngee Ann, and guess who came up the bus! DAPHNE KHOO! Okay, i sense mixed reactions here. Okay, so what, i've seen her around school before. But i must say, she really isn't bad looking at all. I think she looks quite good with her glasses on. She came in, reading her mass comm notes. Can u imagine she and i could have been coursemates?? I'd certainly like to get to know her though. Anyway, that was my joyous bus ride.
Well, that was my day summarised in a few paragraphs. A good or bad day, i can't comment, cos this is the Lord's day. I shall just rejoice and be glad in it.
10:32 PM |
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- the lovers, the dreamers and me -