Saturday, April 07, 2007
Confusion. Feeling a little disappointment. With myself, with certain people around me. I'm somehow finding myself giving in to things i don't want to do, things i thought i had control over before, such as my studies, my life. I've been kidding myself, thinking that i'm in a new environment and that i'm just brand new. But old habits never change, and i find myself no different from my old days.
Oh Lord, take control. I'm spinning out of orbit.
Easter. It saddens me that the nation of Australia is so caught up with chocolate eggs and easter sales from Kmart socks & underwear to tyres. And there's always that cursed rabbit to represent Easter. Is this what easter is all about? What ever happened to that part where Jesus sacrificed His life in our place? Oh how we forget.
Lately i've been feeling sick. unwell. My head's spinning as i type this. Migraines maybe? But since i've been alone here, i've had to take care of myself more than i had before. Not that i'm having trouble with that, but having to worry bout so many things is giving me a headache. Oh Lord, again i cry out, take these worries off my shoulders.
Strangely though, i know all these promises, and i know He cares for me. But i somehow again find myself in the situation where my head speaks a different language from my hands.
i don't know if i can get through this.
I thought i was stronger. I thought i should be the one who impacts the world and not the other way round.
God, give me strength...
2:28 PM |
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