Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Okay i lied about my last post, i didn't even complete it to start with - it was too painful. I think i've shot myself in the foot, in the way that over the years i have tried to teach myself to be a better person. I no longer take offense so quickly, and i learn to look at the brighter side of things. Or so i thought i was. I was merely bottling every sad thing up inside of me. It's not often you see a sad blog post here, but sad things do happen in my life, i just choose not to remember it. But i guess this time it is different, i should just let it all out and stop bottling it up inside. What do you do when you feel everything is working against you. When you should feel happy about reaching a new phase in life but everything that you should be happy about has become something to worry about, and people whom you love, whom you thought you can depend on suddenly feel you going too strongly at them and want timeout. Or how about when you love someone so much and you care so much for that person, but all that person sees is the negative and thinks you have bad intentions, and then deliberately goes against you by going against himself. When you lost faith in something you held onto so strongly before. When you feel you have no future. When you just can't go on anymore you just feel like packing your things and be alone in a far away place.
I feel like that right now.
Like how everything and everyone goes against you, but you force yourself to hold back against him. And when the time comes for your revenge, you simply cannot lift a finger against him. When you feel like crying but nothing can jerk the tears out your eyes. Like you no longer hold it against that person but you know the hurt and the anger's still there. When your greatest gift becomes something that will make you cry. Something that will allow you to just release all that pressure that is inside of you. The expectations from those in your office, from those at home, from those around you, it's so so heavy.
Will someone please make me cry?
12:53 AM |
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- the lovers, the dreamers and me -
