Thursday, June 30, 2005
untitled
I'm supposed to lead worship this Sunday, but i can't help but feel unworthy to carry out the task. Well, it's because of what happened last sunday. Well, i really can't explain what happened here, i don't want to remember such unpleasant things. But the very thought of it is really just eating on me. Everytime i think about it, i feel guilty of how i reacted. And it's really no point in justifying my actions, because there cannot possibly be any way that i was in the right. "In your anger, do not sin". I have failed. And it's really something i've been working on for some time now. It's just so difficult, life. I, it's me. My character is far from that of Jesus Christ, and i really am trying to overcome my internal struggles, like my quick-angeredness. Oh dear, what can i do...
Well, i'm going to pray...
Lord Jesus, You know what i did last sunday was very very wrong, and more than the hurt that both me and Andrew felt, it was You who was the most hurt by us. Lord, i beg for Your forgiveness, Your mercy to be upon me, for Lord, i just cannot carry out a task like leading worship with this inner feeling. But the truth is, Lord, that i really want to worship You every minute of everyday, but what i want to do, i do not do, and what i do not want to do, i do. Lord, let not my human nature take me over, but instead, let Your Holy Spirit in me thrive and spill goodness the world can see
11:32 PM |
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