Thursday, May 12, 2005
Exasperated
I feel so exasperated.
Not that i can say that this life sucks, because it doesn't. I mean, i do have a lot to look forward to, i've got good friends and a great family, what more can i ask for?
But gosh, it really just sucks being a clerk. I hate being a clerk. I've always secretly wanted to be a commando you know? It's cool. I mean, i've always enjoyed an active life since my younger days, hiking, cycling, exploring, you know, all those stuff that i used to do in the scouts? I love em, and i miss them so much. But sigh, now that i've been BRANDED Pes E9L9, i must be handicapped right? I mean, i'm really less than a step away from being exempted from national service. So what difference does it make anyway, comparing me with someone in Pes B for example. I don't see a major difference on the outside. But on the inside, sure my heart may not be as functional as his, but that doesn't mean that i'm not capable of doing anything more than wasting my time in a claustrophobic pathetic little office. You know what being Pes E means for me? Prior to hearsay, it's harder for me to get promotions, which means longer or almost never getting an allowance above $420 a month. And you know what? I also heard that Pes E ppls won't be sent for courses, like computer or whatever crap. I mean, this is discrimination and i am unhappy! This is my blog, and i rant all i want about how i feel. And yes i am well aware that whatever i'm saying may get into the hands of the authorities. But what am i saying? I'm not defaming anyone. I'm just exposing what discrimination we have here. What is this man?! I'm extremely upset. Oh. And today i found out that my stupid retarded monster understudy gets to go to island for some special visit event. Great isn't it? My superiors seem to favor him over me. I wonder if it has got anything to do with the fact that i was POSTED here and that he was HAND PICKED to join the office? Hmmm i really do wonder. I think i am the most misunderstood, most under-rated, most unappreciated, but by no means the least important member of this organisation. I mean, look at me. If you know me, you will know what kind of person i am. I enjoy my work and due to my personal Christian beliefs, i try my best to do whatever i can to the best of my God-given abilities, not to please men but to honor my God. So why am i being seen as such a low creature here? There's really more to me than what you see behind this unattention seeking face. Oh Lord, when will they see, when will they see???
2:46 PM |
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